1 - The Here and Now

It has been 1 year, 9 months and 13 days since the bottom dropped out of my life. Even though I've finished treatment and passed my "one year from date of diagnosis" survivor mark, I don't feel back to normal. Actually I'm not sure we ever quite get there, do we? My cancer is in remission now but some part of it still exists on the fringes of my subconscious. It surfaces here and there to torment me and remind me that it's never really over, but it CAN be pushed far enough into the background that it doesn't overshadow your entire life.

As strange as it may sound, my life has been enriched by cancer in so many ways. Things that used to be important are not, and in the same vein, things that once were not, now are. My Christian self has changed for the better. I can be grateful that God has brought me through this and asked me to experience it. I've discovered that I am a much better Christian when I am suffering in abject misery; this is not a very flattering thing to realize but whether I like to admit it or not it's true. I have met some truly amazing people on this journey, and it is my biggest hope that reading this will help another patient somewhere. Anywhere. Even if it's only one person, I want you to know that there really is life after cancer; and sometimes it's even better than the one you had before :o)

Note: My additions to this blog will likely be rather random (translation: whenever I can stuff one in my ridiculously full schedule). I have a very dry, slightly sarcastic sense of humor so you will probably see these :o) in large numbers (since you can't actually see me, it cuts down on my list of offenses - mostly :o) See?

Perhaps I should also add a disclaimer that blogging (which sounds like some sort of obnoxious personal noise for which I should apologize) is new to me. As I try very hard to avoid injuring anyone's feelings, I would ask you to please be kind in your comments. This is, of course, assuming anyone actually reads past this first post...