It's Thursday, June 22nd. I got a letter from the Clinic today; it says, "Your recent mammogram showed a finding that requires additional imaging evaluation. Most such findings are benign and do not represent cancer..."
So now what? I have to go back? Again? Just how many is most I wonder. Less than half? One fourth? Maybe it's nothing - no - probably it's nothing. Mom is forever telling me, "Jennifer, do not borrow trouble..." Okay, first things first. Appointment, I need to make another appointment. Next week? Nothing this week? Okay, Tuesday June 27th it is then thank you. Five days, I can handle five days I think (maybe, hopefully).
I don't have any risk factors, not really. My mom had cancer a few years ago - she was 65. I talked to my gyn about it, though and he explained that the medical rule of thumb for family members and breast cancer was, "Age of diagnosis minus ten years." Okay, so I just need to remember that now. I'm only 40; and this is my first mammogram. So following that rule of thumb I'd only need to panic if I was what, like 55? I'm 25 years younger than she was so I should be okay, shouldn't I? That's a whole other 15 years on top of the original 10; so I'll be fine then, right? I mean I'm not overweight, I don't smoke, I exercise every day, eat lots of fruit, drink tons of water...Um, this is probably a good time for me to go ahead and confess to random chocolate splurges and general avoidance of most vegetables whenever possible. I always thought that there was some kind of Grownup Appetite Gene (Ha - couldn't help the acronym - GAG - due to the current topic :o) that would just magically kick in when I hit adulthood and cause me start liking coffee and vegetables. Well if there is such a gene I sure didn't get it...Okay, I'm digressing here, big time.
Finally! Tuesday - at last! It's not like I wasted the time I had to wait. I spent large chunks of it conducting an informal survey of sorts. Almost everyone I asked had been called back at least once. Apparently women with dense (fibrous) tissue get called back fairly frequently. I had one friend that said she'd been called back six separate times and had several needle biopsies; brrr - sure hope I don't have to go that far.
Back in the waiting room, follow me please, gown, yadda yadda yadda, okay thank you ma'm and you're all done. This time, though, I didn't go right back out the door. This time I was asked to wait a few minutes, and a few more, and then a few more. Finally, a man holding a folder came in; a radiologist. It seems there's a bit of a blur on my mammogram; not even enough to call a spot, just a faint blur. It's probably nothing to worry about. Now if you'll follow me please, we'll go to have an ultrasound, to be sure that it's nothing.
Seems I've left the refrigerated section and am now in frozen foods; it's cold in here! Lay on the table please, arm over your head, this will be a little chilly. Hmm, now where have I heard that statement be- YIKES! - and thank you ma'm for the blob of ice-cold (ew! what?) icky stuff you just squirted on me. Stare at the ceiling time and think of something (anything) else. Round and round and round she goes...uh-oh. You know, I'm not the smartest person on the planet but when a technician starts going over and over the same area and presses just a little harder each time? I start feeling that feeling; you know the one I mean? The one that causes your stomach to begin to tighten and then to churn. The one that makes you want to just grab the person and yell, "What is it? What do you see? What's wrong??"
It's going to be okay, really. It's eighty percent; 80% of the time it's nothing. I just need to come back and have a needle biopsy done, that's all. To be sure, okay? You're only 40 after all, so it's probably nothing, a cyst maybe; don't worry it'll be fine. This coming Monday okay for you? Okay, great. We've got you all set for a needle biopsy on Monday, July 3rd at 8:00a.m. All right, well we'll see you then on Monday, and you have yourself a good weekend...
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